The magnet

If you have read my previous blog about the Oshawa Court clientele, you will fully appreciate the following story....

I performed an normal task today. I went grocery shopping. Nothing exciting, just a quick trip into Price Chopper for some dinner fixins. Upon completion I boxed up my goods, and carried them to the car.

Sounds normal, right? That's what I thought, too. So while I held the box in place against my car, and dug around in my purse for my car keys, I heard it: "Nice piece of ass".

I do not have a nice piece of ass. But despite this I was compelled to see what kind of moron would make a comment like that when I knew I was the only one around. I looked up from my purse, and there he was in all his glory.

The sun was shining off his dirty blond mullet. No, really, it was blond AND dirty. The mullet formed little ringlets down his back, which was encased in a blue/grey flannel shirt. Poor soul! He couldn't afford to buy the one with the buttons because his ample belly was hanging over what I assumed was a waistband on his strategically torn jeans. His mancans were bouncing along in rhythm with his strut. It was not a pretty site.

I can only guess that he mistook my look of horror for a come-hither look. So he flashed me his winning smile. Yes, surprisingly enough there were teeth. The looked as if they belonged to a 100 yr old corpse, but they were all his.

I jumped in my car, and unfortunately missed him as I backed up quickly.

So I head toward the exit of the parking lot. And then it happens again. This time, however, it was deceiving. You have to be very astute to live in Oshawa....because things are not always what they seem.

A 30ish fellow was walking in front of my car. He was nicely groomed, with short hair, clean jeans, and a lime green shirt with white orchids on it.

I slowed down so as not to scare him, when he noticed my car. He moved to the left, I moved to the right. But then he moved to the right, and I had to stop again. He moved out of my way again, then stepped in front of my car at the last minute. What was wrong with this guy?

Then he starts smiling and waving. I look closely thinking that perhaps I know him, but I don't recognize him. Nope, he's a stranger.

So I give him the "Get the hell out of my way" look, and he moves, just to step in front of me and wave again. And that was when I saw it.

His eyes. They were a beautiful blue, and had a certain glow to them. You know the one....the one that a psychotic sexual predator has just before he kills his victim, the one that Osama Bin Laden had, the one..well, you get the picture.

I weaved around him, only to have him catch up and step out onto the street as I was pulling out of the parking lot. Freak! Luckily he jumped before I hit him, and I booked it home.

Apparently I am a freak magnet today, and intend on staying in the house the rest of the day.